Last Wednesday I did make it to a moderate dance class which helped me find my heart.  By Thursday, I felt like the pirate with a wooden leg as I hurled my body up the avenue. 

On Friday, I went to yoga class where I modified everything and was pleased at my ability to understand I had to take it slowly.  But the tears came which reminded me so much of Karol Ward and I speaking on Motion and Emotion – I wasn’t surprised.  I made it to my Alexander teacher that afternoon(thank you Alan Katz!) where I FINALLY felt some sensation flowing through my leg.  The weekend?  A blurrr…..I think I was more focused on the snow than my body.

I realize I still have not made peace with my leg. The vein is now black and blue which means it is losing life.  That feels so sad to me but I can’t even acknowledge it.  I don’t even think I’ve whispered hello to it yet.  I’ve noticed the muscles are flacid from not being used fully.  I am stunned at the disconnect from this part of my body.

What’s next?  I really don’t know.  7 more days of my compression stockings and then I may be free.  But the fear still lingers.  Such an amazing experience.  It’s like I’ve left it on it’s own to do the healing work…and I’m not even clear if that’s right or not.